Thursday, December 25, 2014

A Christmas without you. . .

So Christmas morning was spent watching the excitement in my daughters eyes as they found their stockings filled with goodies and as they walked down the stairs to a tree with gifts just for them. I could not help while watching them open each gift anticipating what could be in there and then even if it was just socks they still smiled and said thank you, just like me growing up I never took anything for granted I always knew I would be given what I needed and yet a few special gifts that I really wanted! While the day was filled with laughter, I still thought about my dad, I thought about how we would finish our Christmas here and then we would head to my parents where we would gather around their tree, crowded as it was but yet I think that is exactly how he liked it he always sat in his chair taking it all in watching as everyone opened gifts and how he would open his and try and guess what it was and sometimes he was right, I missed him not crying over a sentimental gift or the squeal of delight from his granddaughters, I missed looking over in his chair and seeing him just taking it all in. I thought as we entered Christmas that I would dread it I would hate not having him their and I did I hated not having all the little things I listed above happening, I missed it all, his ham dinner he would cook, his pomegranates that he would peal and share with my girls, his laughter, his Merry Christmas hug and his I Love You! I want this all back but I cant have it not one thing, I guess we can still cram into the living room and smile and laugh like he would love us too, yes I want to do the things that he would had loved, yes that would put a smile on his face, that's what I want if I cant have him at Christmas then those are the things I think we should have to honor him. So Merry Christmas Dad and ya know dad you would had loved the trick we played on mom this year! I did it cause I knew you would had enjoyed every moment and look dad, look at her face! She is happy and smiling just like you would had wanted.

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