Still hurts, so much!

Today we attended a Celebration of Life for my husbands bosses wife Toni. A wonderful kind hearted woman that I had, the pleasure of getting to know. Matt works for a wonderful "family" business so it was like losing a friend.
Well as I sat and listened to stories and memories I was taken back to my dads services, I could echo the words that I said in my speech, I could recall each tear for those stumbled down my cheeks as well today. I could feel their heartache and realized still how fresh and deep mine was. We are approaching a year, people say time heals, no im sorry I don't believe that, cause I hurt and today I hurt a lot. While I loved to listen to memories of Toni, I was sad that her husband, and her children, and grandchildren, move on in life without her. They share the pain, the tears, and the ups and downs that grief causes. I tried to control my tears and think of wonderful Toni but I could only do that for so long and I refected on my own loss, then the song, " To Where You Are" by Josh Groban played. My head and heart was flooded with memories of my dad as I listened to the words of the song. I was over taken with tears. It was then that I realized how how it still hurts!

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are