More than I can handle

Some days I'm strong, some days I don't stop and cry, some days I just go on. Well those some days are starting to be more few and far between. I don't know why. WHY does that day of losing you appear in my head as such a vivid image. WHY as of recent does my heart ache. WHY does my worry seem to be on OVERLOAD. I mean seriously I worry all the time. It sucks cause my good days are just seeming so few and far between. I so wish that this thing we call grief would just fade and my life of happiness and no worry would just be the norm. But for some reason lately it's not. Is it the weather the lack of sunshine on my face the feel of the fresh air in my lungs the signs of new life in Spring. I don't know I just wish it would come and stay longer than my overload of grief.