Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Healing. . .

Ok, I have been thinking a lot since my post a couple days ago. I have been thinking I need to begin to heal, not just keep saying why, and blamming the world or just life in general. I have been shut off for the past few weeks. BAD, so bad that when people saw me they could see I was hurting. I want that fun, loving, crazy, fun to be around person back, yes the Real Me back. I have some wonderful traits that I got from my Dad, his kind heart, his giving ways, his sense of humor, his outgoing way of life and yet his who gives a shit attitude (not always a good thing) Well where I'm going with this is well, my traits that I cherish the ones that make me the person I am and the ones my dad passed to me I need them back. He would not be happy that I had or was losing sight of these and the person I am.
My husband said to me, maybe you need to start running again. My first thought was hmm I guess I mean I had been thinking about it.
I began training for my first half wait what am I saying my first ever race ever after a friend of mine ran her first one, she inspired me I trained in 2013. My dad would ask me about it, and I knew he was eager to have me complete it, even after a major sciatic injury put me out of commision but, I did not give up, and when I ran it , it was 1 month after I lost my dad. I ran that dam race with him right by my side, I thought of him every mile, and at the end I so recall looking up to the sky raising my hands and crying saying I did it I did it Dad. I ran that 100% for him.
There was something about that day I finished, I was not fast hell by no means fast at all a snail's pace rather but I did it. The following year I challenged myself and did the challenge a 10k and then the 1/2 earning three medals and a huge PR.
Well I'm ready I'm ready to challenge myself and setting a goal in 2017 to run Tinkerbell in California and Wine and Dine in Florida gets me a coast to coast a huge achievent so yes let the healing begin, with my mind and my body. Running as much as I don't consider myself one may just be what I need to begin to heal. And. . . I know I will always have my dad right by me pushing me every step of the way who knows a marathon could be in the far future, OK let's take this one healing mile at a time.

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