Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Comfort in a voice

As I was going through my phone just weeks after my dad left this world and went onto the next, I was deleting old voicemails and came across one, my heart sank as I heard his voice, immediately i felt sick and tears fell faster than the tissues could catch them. I did not delete it. So just yesterday I was once again going through my phone and this time I came to that same voice mail, I pushed play and simply braced myself for tears, but this time I smiled as I closed my eyes and pictured him like he was standing in front of me. I then played it again, this time on speaker phone and asked my 4 year old to listen, she did with an uncertain look on her face. I asked her " you know who that is" she looked at me puzzled not sure, paused and said "maybe daddy" I then replayed it and she smiled and said "oh it's grampa" I said yes he left that message a while ago, she said to me innocently "well let's call him back" I said "oh honey he's in heaven" she said "we could call great grammie too!" I thought as I looked at her face she was serious, I then looked at her and with tears slowly falling I said "I wish that heaven had a telephone so we could call and talk to them" Now how great would that be, I would call, maybe it would cost a lot but ya know It would be worth it, I could ask him questions, I could ask him how he was, how Chris, Great Grammie, My Uncles amd those others who left this world were! I would want to tell him I loved him, I would what to tell him what he's missed, I would what to let him know how much I miss him, but I would beg him to tell me the signs he leaves to let me know he's here. If only heaven had a telephone! If only!

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